Animal Escapades (Part 2)

Let me start with a couple of Useless Tips for Ridding Your Yard of Raccoons:

1) Put a radio outside and leave it on all night. The sound of human voices will deter coons from entering the area.

Reality: Raccoons are smarter than that. They quickly realize that there are no actual people sitting outside yakking it up all night.

2) Install a motion-sensor light to scare raccoons away.

Reality: The raccoons in our yard must have taken "Humans 101" at the local coon college. The light came on, they scattered...and immediately regrouped when it became apparent that nothing more than light was going to happen.

What we didn't try was my genius idea of large swaths of flypaper around the pool for little coon feet to get stuck on! What? Stop giving me that look. It could have worked. Oh, never mind.

Partial success was reached this morning due to Papa's perserverance. Two nights ago he baited a cage with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and didn't set the catch, hoping to lure them into a sense of security. It worked. Free dinner #2 was set out last night, this time with the cage set to snap shut when entered.

"There's at least 8 of them," he observed after watching them from a darkened corner of the pool cabana. "Two separate families that bicker over food and territory."

Lo and behold, an adolescent-size coon was caught. I went out this morning to look before leaving for work. He scrabbled about, chewing on the remains of a cardboard label advertising "Large raccoon trap! Perfect for raccoons, opposums and similarly-sized animals." As we approached he crouched low, facing a corner, nose nearly touching the wire. My brother and I sat on the concrete closest to him. He met our gaze with his wide, dark eyes, but didn't move.

My comforting instinct urged for me to reach through the tiny squares and smooth his hackled fur, but I knew a snarl and snap would instantly greet my fingers. We spoke quietly to him. It's strange to be faced with an antagonist and have them meet your gaze with fear. It's much easier to be angry at a faceless opponent, to mutter "you darn critters!" when they aren't looking you in the eye.

I am eternally grateful to be the daughter of a man who will humanely trap and release an animal instead of stuffing it or skinning it or turning it into stew. As we sat by the cage, Papa came out with a piece of bread. He tore off small pieces and pushed them between the bars. The raccoon lifted his head, not quite turning around, but sensing the presence of food. As I left for work Papa lifted the cage and carefully set it in the back of the truck, taking him away to a second chance at life.

Mr. Jones

I would just like to pause for a moment and say how awesome Dean Jones is.

Dean Jones. Disney classic. Star of some of the best family films of the 1960s-70s. And he's totally handsome. Personally, a guy like him is much more appealing to me than some 19-year-old with hard abs and hair gel. I wouldn't even know what Dean Jone's abs look like, since he never had to take his shirt off to sell a movie.

Dean Jones is handsome, wholesome, charming, and a strong Christian. The latter part of his career has been spent touring his one-man show "St. John in Exile." He has done dozens of Biblical re-enactment projects, videos, TV series, etc., and done them well.

As a kid we rented "The Love Bug" series over and over again, and I've recently been able to introduce my younger siblings to those movies, "That Darn Cat," and soon "The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit." Dean Jones usually plays a smooth but slightly flustered character, surrounded by a situation he can't quite control on his own. He starts off as a bit of a hotshot in "The Love Bug," but of course soon proves his heart of gold.

The Love Bug (1968)

That Darn Cat (1965)


So anyway. Dean Jones. Great guy. Fun family films. Go find one today. The end.

Dog story

Before school was out for the summer, I ended up behind the school bus a few mornings each week. There are several “no outlet” streets in our neighborhood, so the bus will often stop at the beginning of the road to pick up the gathered children instead of venturing down each narrow country cul-de-sac. I began to notice patterns for each group: the parents that drive their kids to the end of the road as opposed to those who walk; the mom that goes with her little girls up the bus doors every day, hugging them and straightening their backpacks as they board; the little “thanks for waiting” wave she gives me while heading back to her own car.

But of all these observations, my favorite is the shaggy dog.

The first cul-de-sac stop picks up 3-4 kids, and at least two of them are siblings. One clue is that they stand together, and the other is the shaggy little dog sniffing around beside them. He investigates the ditches and bushes as the children wait, but jumps to attention as the bus approaches. He bounds after them as they walk to the door, circling their feet as they board. The bus pulls away and he, proud to have gotten them off on another days’ adventure, trots stalwartly homeward.

I picture their mom glancing out the window as he trots into the yard each day. Whether she’s busy washing dishes or feeding a baby or gathering up her briefcase and keys, his loyal appearance assures her that her children are safely on their way.

The unconditional loyalty of that little dog assures me that if anything were to happen to those kids, one of two things would happen: he would not leave their side, protecting them with all his shaggy might, or he would run home as fast as he could to bring help. I imagine the tightening in their mother’s chest if he didn’t come back, her thoughts of “what happened?”

I’m sure there are days when he’s distracted by a squirrel or an interesting smell, but I’m also sure he makes a priority of getting home. He’s got the rest of the day to explore and play. At seven each morning he’s there to send them off, and I’m sure that at four he’ll be there to walk them home.

Animal Escapades (Part 1)

Last night Matt and I were sitting out at my family’s pool, dipping our feet in the water and talking. We were seated beneath the one light bulb hanging from the side of the cabana, and the underwater lights were on, providing a shifting, watery glow. I heard a chuck-will’s-widow calling in the distance. I turned my head to hear it better and gasped in surprise as I was greeted by four masked, shining eyes. Two medium-sized raccoons were headed toward the water from behind the cabana. My startled reaction startled them, and their ringed tails disappeared again into the darkness.



Mom has been on a get-rid-of-raccoons campaign due to a recent slew of destructive events, so Matt and I turned off the lights and waited in the dark for them to return. My family has recently gained a pair of archery bows (one compound, one recurve), and Matt recently purchased sharper tipped arrows for just such pest removal (or at least scaring away) purposes.
As we sat in the dark we could hear the coons chirruping in the trees, but nothing reappeared around the corners. While part of me acknowledged the cuteness of the creatures, another part knows just how my mom feels. In the recent months they have inhabited my dad’s workshop (and you thought rats were bad!), eaten fish meant for the pond, stolen household items accidentally left outside, and continually muddied the pool and deck with their little food-washing feet. And if mom’s chickens keep laying in bushes instead of their nesting boxes, they will probably start stealing eggs as well.

I think what surprised me the most is that they were headed for the water even though the lights were on and we were talking. Like the deer, the raccoons seem to becoming more and more accustomed to close human proximity. The deer just don’t care anymore, strolling through yards and across roads at all hours of the day. If you step outside they’ll lazily look up at you, but not bother to move unless you shout or run toward them. They eat the fruit from the trees and chew young saplings to the ground. The other day I saw one sticking its tongue through the garden fence in an attempt to reach a corn stalk. Deer can still be beautiful to watch, but it’s hard to enjoy their majestic nature when they are destroying your summer harvest.

Wow. It's amazing how many results you get by image googling "deer sticking tongue out."

I suppose it’s just a constant territorial battle: as the area becomes more and more developed, the animals adapt and grow bolder in order to survive.
In other animal news, I saw a very large (and very dead) porcupine on the side of the road yesterday morning. I had no idea that porcupines were native Texans!


It looked exactly like this. Only...dead.

My dad saw a guy collecting the quills later that day, armed with heavy gloves and a sack. What are good uses for porcupine quills? Does that guy scour the roadsides for prickly roadkill, or what this a first-time collection?

That situation always makes me a little sad: “Whoa! A porcupine! I’ve never seen one in the wild before! Oh...it’s dead.” Live animals are just…well…most things are better when they’re alive. Unless you’re wearing or eating it. Then I am a firm believer in whatever you are wearing or eating no longer looking like a live thing at all.

So anyway…we’ll see how Raccoon Adventure Part 2 goes. Pretty sure the hubster is going to camp out tonight to try and scare them off more permanently by shooting sharp things in their general direction. Your cuteness can’t always make up for your troublemaking,  you fuzzy little creatures.

June 1st

It's June. My last post was in April. Blaaaarrrrgggghhhh.

Every single day I have multiple moments of  "I should write about that," "that would be a good blog topic," "I should write about this," "or that," "or..."

Why don't I do it? Probably because I'm either driving to work, at work, or driving home from work for 11 hours every day. 11 hours. If we lived closer this would only take 9 hours plus a few minutes out of each day. I love my job, but the long commute is slowly eating away at my soul. It doesn't help that  on MSN yesterday there was a big ol' artice about the downsides of long commutes. Higher divorce rates, health problems, lack of productivity. Yippee.

As well as just making time to write more often, I also need to decide if I want this blog to be mostly contemplative and topic-y (as it has been up to this time), or more focused on daily life, with contempative-ness thrown in every now and then. Would posting daily events prompt me to write more often? The "daily" part of that seems to suggest that it would. But I don't want this to just become a "this is what I ate, bought, watched" blog. I love reading those blogs, and I know I'd have fun writing it, but I also want to keep writing on longer, more complicated subjects in order to hone skills. Writing a monthly editorial was one of my favorite parts of being a college newspaper editor. I still hope to make writing (especially writing a magazine/newspaper column) a career, or at least part-time career, at some point in my life. And, like everything, it means keeping those skills well-practiced in the meantime.

So here's a little of both. For the dose of daily life: I hope to paint my office this weekend. This prospect excites me, as I haven't gotten to decorate/organize/re-vamp a space of my own since we last had our own apartment. And that was over 8 months ago.

For the "deeper:" I've been thinking a lot about missions lately. What it means to be a missionary. What it takes to be a missionary. Be it long-term or short, missions are something you commit your whole self to. I think about doing short term trips but know we don't have the money. And I don't want to ask other people for the cash when I know they could use it themselves. Is it wrong to choose to pay bills over funding a mission trip? Am I selfish to think, month after month, "I'll contribute when we don't have bills, when we aren't scraping pennies to pay loans, when my husband's education is finally complete." Is that putting my life above God's will? I love hearing the stories of friends and family who have set out on a great adventure for God, reaching those in ways I never could imagine. While for myself, I think, "It's just not possible right now. It's just not me." And then I question it all over again.

Last one, I promise:

Blargh.

                                       

I encourage anyone and everyone to go see “Soul Surfer” over the next few weeks. It exceeded profit estimates on opening weekend, coming in 2 box office slots above the newest stoner comedy. Keep it at the top! Help meaningful entertainment prove its worth!!


“Soul Surfer” is a wonderful, professionally-made film about a young girl who doesn’t let go of God when her world comes crashing down. She isn’t defeated by the tragedy of losing her arm in a shark attack, and while she tearfully wonders why God allowed it to happen, she never lashes out or turns against Him.

Good Christian cinema is, sadly, a rarity. Cheese and better-than-thou acting can overshadow a good story, but that is not the case with this film. “Soul Surfer” boasts an A-list cast and professional filming, script-writing, cinematography...everything.

Filmmakers initially tried to tone down the Christianity of the Hamilton family, but were convinced otherwise at every turn. When they wanted to remove the words “Holy Bible” from the front of the Tom Hamilton’s (Dennis Quaid) book, the real Mr. Hamilton sent a photo of his Bible, those 2 words emblazoned across the well-worn cover. Filmmakers attempted to cut the Scripture reference that Bethany’s (AnnaSophia Rob) youth group leader (Carrie Underwood) uses to encourage her, but Underwood and others wouldn’t have it any other way.

It’s incredible to see a strong, loving Christian family portrayed on screen, not a family with a buffoonish father, sharp-tongued mother and conniving kids. One of the very first scenes is in a church, and it’s natural. Comfortable. The Hamiltons pray before meals, holding hands as a family. There is understandable family tension after the accident, but they work through it and stay strong. Bethany’s friends rush to save her life during the accident and her doctor and church group helps her realize what she’s capable of afterwards.

So, go see it. Let me know your thoughts. I think it’s pretty wonderful, myself.

The Reality of Unfathomable Love: Thoughts on "Love Wins" by Rob Bell

Rob Bell’s new book Love Wins: A Book about Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived, was released today. Below are my thoughts on that book, according to the research I have done over the past several weeks. I have not read the book yet, but I will. At the end of this post there are links to several of the articles and authors that I have been following.

Please know that this is not a vendetta against Rob Bell. I have never been a “fan” of his teaching style, but that doesn’t mean I doubted the validity of what he was teaching. I am writing this because I was shocked to hear that he might have turned away from and twisted God’s truth, and because I am saddened that it’s true.

I am writing this because my heart is breaking for him and for those who may take his false teaching as truth.


Unfathomable Love

Rob Bell is very successful at being different. Artistic. Compelling. He has worked to break away from the stereotype of a stuffy, judgmental church leader.

Over the past few weeks, word sped throughout the Christian community that Rob Bell had embraced a universalist view of heaven and hell. There are many different variations to this system of belief, but put as simply as possible: all roads lead to heaven. Hell is empty. God has many names, and everyone will get to Him in different ways.

The rumors are painfully true. Though Bell has left himself openings to escape a strict universalist label, he is no longer teaching a Biblically sound view of eternal life.

Bell uses dozens of Bible passages in his book, but multiple pastors have pointed out how he takes the verses out of context and never fully uses any of them to support his thesis.

Summarized from reviews and excerpts from Love Wins, here is (in my words) what Bell is saying he believes about heaven and hell:

After death, some people are ready to enter God’s Kingdom automatically, while others must wait and first go through God’s refining fire. This burning away of sinful nature will take longer for some than it will for others, but everyone will be united with God in the end. Hell is what we make it, and God allows us the evil things we want for a while, but we will all be purged in time. God’s love will purify everyone. Trust in Jesus is important, but those who don’t like Christianity’s terms will come to know God through their own, personalized path.

As part of his support for this, Bell digs into an alternative meaning of the word eternal, saying that when God proclaims “eternal punishment” it merely means “intense punishment.” This means that corrective fire will be more intense for some than it is for others, but not forever.

Bell leaves himself a way out of the universalist label by never saying that absolutely nobody will stay in this refining period forever. But he strongly leans toward the view that everyone, no matter how long it takes, will be able to share in the glory of heaven.

This sounds wonderful at first, but if it were true, God would be nothing like the Bible says He is.

The Bible tells of a God who is angry. Jealous. Loving. We are created in His image, so our emotions reflect His, but our puny range of emotions is nothing compared to His. We struggle to forgive a cashier who short-changes us or a driver who runs us off the road. God forgives us of EVERYTHING. It’s unfathomable. We use the term “God-fearing” not because we need to cower in constant terror, but because God is more powerful and all-encompassing than anything we could possibly imagine.

If God loves the way that Bell claims He does, then Christ’s death on the cross is severely diminished. This ultimate sacrifice was all a show, a metaphor for the people of ancient times. If God truly is a wrathless God, and all our suffering is man-made and completely reversible, then Jesus’ death is just a nice example. We don’t need the blood of Christ to wash us clean.

Think about it this way: What kind of horrible, sadistic father would put his son through a torturous death for nothing? Is that a God you'd want to follow?

If what Rob Bell is teaching were true, why would Jesus tell the parables of the unprepared servant and the virgins who were not ready for the bridegroom’s arrival? (Matthew 24 and 25).

If what he’s teaching were true, why would God command us again and again to reach out to the lost, to minister to the ungodly, to live our lives as a reflection of His glory?

Why would the call to evangelism and missions be so desperate if there aren’t nations perishing without Him?

Why would we take up our cross and follow Him?

Christ’s death on the cross is the ultimate sacrifice. It is the only reason that God hasn’t wiped out the earth a hundred times. God loves us so much that He gave part of Himself to die and be reborn in our place. That is love. A get-out-of-hell-free card isn't love.

Some will choose to never to see His grace, and this breaks His heart. But it does not diminish His glory.

Bell still seems to urge people to live good lives and make the best decisions they can while they can, but in his mind, all our mistakes mean is a little more time spent in God’s refinery at the end.

There will always be theological questions that need to be asked, but Bell is not asking them. He is providing answers. It’s not rhetorical or contemplative. He is stating this as truth. And that’s what is so damaging.

This is the chance that God has given us. He sent His son to us HERE so that we may find and follow the truth before our deaths.

History is tragic, but not because God “isn’t getting what He wants.” Not because His greatness has been diminished. Because of us. Our selfishness. Our pride. Our unwillingness to put ourselves in hard places, to reach out to those that don’t know of Him, to stand up for His name in the face of adversity.

Saving everyone would be easy for God. Do we really want a God that takes the easy way out?

Nothing can diminish God’s greatness. God is not only “sort of great” because some of His children are lost daily. God has saved us all. We condemn ourselves when we choose not to listen. When we refuse to share His grace with those who don’t know. When we believe that it doesn’t matter how we live.

The song Our God is an Awesome God has long seemed like a Bible camp cliche to me. But when it came on the radio this morning I was struck by the power of its words. Words taken for granted are words that proclaim the truth.

“When He rolls up His sleeves
He ain't just putting on the ritz;
Our God is an awesome God

There's thunder in His footsteps
And lightning in His fists;
Our God is an awesome God

And the Lord wasn't joking
When He kicked 'em out of Eden
It wasn't for no reason
That He shed His blood
His return is very close
And so you better be believing that
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

And when the sky was starless
In the void of the night;
Our God is an awesome God

He spoke into the darkness
And created the light;
Our God is an awesome God

Judgement and wrath
He poured out on Sodom
Mercy and grace
He gave us at the cross
I hope that we have not
Too quickly forgotten that
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God.”

In his book Radical, David Platt describes how the true message of Christ has never been the popular one. Jesus taught that to follow Him meant persecution, ridicule, and abandonment. He told people to leave their homes, sell their belongings, and follow Him, whatever the cost.

Jesus didn’t teach people to believe what feels right and to call Him whatever name we choose.
“Narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” says Matthew 7:14. There is one way, and it is difficult. There is judgment. And there is a God who loves us more than we could ever imagine.

I pray that Rob Bell will not lead his church to destruction. I pray that he will find his way back to the way, the truth and the life that is God’s perfect and unfathomable love.

____________________________________________________________________


A few of my sources:

Burk, Denny. http://www.dennyburk.com/revising-hell-into-the-heterodox-mainstream/

Challies, Tim. http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/love-wins-a-review-of-rob-bells-new-book

DeYoung, Kevin. http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2011/03/14/rob-bell-love-wins-review/

Platt, David. Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream.

Trueman, Carl. http://www.reformation21.org/blog/2011/03/an-accidental-optimist.php