Glimpsing a complete stranger in a moment of pure happiness is very rare. Waiting at a stoplight while running errands, I noticed the driver of a trash truck as he turned into the lane next to me. There was unashamed happiness on his face, his mouth wide with a smile and laugh, teeth brilliantly white against his dark skin. It may have been caused by something his coworker said or something he heard on the radio, but this wasn’t a passing smile of amusement or a chuckle at an appreciated joke. This was joy.
What made him so joyful on a rainy midweek morning as he drove his battered green truck through the neighborhoods of north Austin? And why don’t I look that way? I have plenty to be joyful about, but I doubt I show it. I even TRY to exude an air of busyness or distractedness when in public alone. I know it’s a shield. We work so hard to keep people out that when someone’s true emotion shines through, we are stunned. Flabbergasted. And ...jealous.
“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away,” says the popular quote by Raymond Hull. How many whittled-down, gouged-out people do we encounter every day? And how whittled-down and gouged-out am I?
We begin to forget ourselves as we strain to fit into the world’s stereotypes. As a relationship grows we may begin to fill out in each other’s presence, but there are often personality pieces that are never shown, dreams never shared, hopes kept silent.
People do grow and change, but some things remain constant. The ability to feel and show joy is one of them. I think we should use it more often.
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