Faith and Love

"Marriage is from God, about God, to God, and for God, so we neglect God at our peril."
-Tim Challies

In his article "6 Deadly Enemies of Marriage," Challies outlines how damaging it is for married couples to neglect the following: Biblical foundation, prayer, fellowship, communication, shared interests and sex. Marriage is a covenantal relationship built on God's Word and needs mutual prayer to survive. If husband and wife don't communicate or share any interests, they become two separate people living separate lives under the same roof. And if sex is neglected...well, as Challies puts it, "to neglect sex is to disregard one of God's great and indispensable gifts."

Marriages are made up of two people who are often very different from each other, which is why communication is almost always at the top of marriage lists. "When differences arise and conflict begins to rear its head, it's important to be equipped with the ability to interact and communicate in an open, honest and healthy way. Get real with the kind of communication you are actually investing into your relationship, because what you put into it will inevitably determine what you will get out of it." (Debra K. Fileta, Relevant magazine.)

I recently read this excerpt from Timothy Keller's new book The Meaning of Marriage. Keller talks about how people clearly understand that it takes hard work to become a professional athlete or famous author, but for some reason we expect marriage to work perfectly with nothing more than love. Love is a concept thrown around like magic pixie dust - it's all you need! It fixes everything! So what happens when love is painful? When you love someone with all of your heart and yet can't resolve debilitating arguments, issues or marital roadblocks? We are all flawed people, Keller points out, so why would creating and maintaining committed, sacrificial, lifelong relationships just come naturally?

You don't become a concert pianist just by buying a piano, just as saying "I do" does not automatically create a happily ever after. To excel at marriage is the same as working towards any other goal: it takes work, effort and concentration. But trust me. It's worth it.

That being said, I've never stressed about doing something huge on Valentine's Day. I have nothing against the holiday, but it is rather over-hyped and silly to concentrate all of your affection on one day of the year. Matt is and always has been my one and only valentine, and I think we do a pretty good job of expressing our affection for each other on a regular basis :-).

Valentine's Day was originally the celebration of a man whose faith and love cost him his life but saved others in the process. Valentine expressed honest, selfless love towards those around him and was never afraid to share God's truth. He truly demonstrated that faith and love go hand in hand, and that's the most important thing to remember every February 14th.