New beginning

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end…”

                                                                                         -Semisonic





I think our new beginning from last fall has finally come to an end and we are about to begin again. It’s a life restart. A second chance to make it, really make it, on our own.

Friday we got the call that our application had been approved. Saturday we began organizing our long-stored belongings, preparing for the move across town. Sunday we planned, and Monday we started packing, anticipating 9 AM the next morning, when the new place would officially be ours.

Tuesday at 8:45 AM I sat in the car and sobbed because we had hit an unexpected wall.  I should have expected it with every obstacle we’d been through to get to that point, but it still hit me like a falling piano. My pride crumbled as we called our parents asking for help, then called the realtor’s office and told them we had been temporarily delayed. I sat stiff and red-eyed as we arrived at the bank to ask for a high-interest cash advance on our credit card. The joy of the early morning was gone. I prepared to settle back into familiar disappointment.

But the bank representative who helped us was kind and encouraging. The lady processing our lease talked us through the paperwork with a smile even though we were over an hour late. The keys were put into our hands and we unlocked our front door for the first time. I didn’t show happiness as much as I could have, and I apologize to Matt for that. But quietly, tearfully, I was happy. I am happy.

We still have a long, uphill battle to defeat debt, but we’ll make it. We can’t run out and buy fancy new things for our house, but so what? After having our belongings in storage for 14 months, it will all seem new to us. And new isn’t what’s important anyway. The important thing is what we make out of what we have.

It may not seem like a lot, but it is to me. I’m ready to make that house our home.