Sharing

We don't share a tube of toothpaste.

As long as we've been married there have been 2 separate tubes, separate brands, stored on separate bathroom shelves. I prefer my brand and he prefers his, and it's never been an issue.

Recently I started to think that it's all a bit silly, and that I should just give up my brand and share his for simplicity's sake. But I hadn't said anything yet, not wanting to waste my almost-brand-new tube.

Last night he got a call and this morning he left for an overnight work trip. We've barely spoken in the past 24 hours; my fault. I've shut down again, frozen him out, up alone till 1:30am on Saturday night sobbing because I can't control the anger I feel toward him due to the things he chooses to fill his time.

As I stepped out of the shower he rapped on the door and said goodbye and that was all. I looked around the bathroom and realized he'd already packed up. If we were sharing toothpaste, I would have been left paste-less.

So the positive side is to say, "look, we're prepared for time apart. He travels, I sometimes travel, we're ready for it." But part of me also wished that was something we already shared - that today I'd have to stop and buy back-up toothpaste to have while he's gone.